jitney Funny Status Messages

   Vagiinas are like the weather if its raining and wet, Its time to go inside!

   If you are speaking sign language but you have parkinsons, is that considered stuttering?

   ***BREAKING*** Jodi Arias found GUILTY of 1st Degree Murder, Now lets find them 3 kidnapping brothers guilty too!

   I dance a little in my chair while I'm eating one of my fave meals..... Don't judge me -_-

   I'm a leader not a follower! Unless its a dark place, then F that, you're going first!

   Birds born in a cage thinks flying is an illness!

   Thinking about kicking her out my Cheaters Elite club! I only deal with ppl who can find the answers for quizes fast! Not slow ppl who needs me to show them how Google came up with the answers..

   I wish you could Google anything. Liikke, "Where the F you ck is my phone?" and it would be lliikke, "It's under the couch dumbass......lol good night peeps!!!!!

   They told me women likes edible undies, So far the only thing I've attracted with these edible undies is ants.....

   I failed my driver's test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Texts and check Facebookk."

   I just miss being able to slam it down when upset with someone. ..so they could hear it slam.

   THAT MOMENT: When the cop car that just pasts you makes a U-turn, you begin to wonder where your car papers at.....

   I'm sorry to say, I won't be on Facebook anymore,.....see there's this ticket that I played today, and long story short....I've got to go change my identity now! Bye!

   Whoever invent Hallway Swimming....go Twerk a HarlemShake sit down and Plank your Owls self somewhere! -

   I asked a question and this kid said "GOOGLE IT".....You and this Dammmm Google everything Generation!....If the power was to ever cut off, we are so in trouble!

   Ya know, those JP Wentworth commercial are lies! I spent 3 hrs yelling out my window "Its MY money and I want it now!!" Only thing I got was ticket for disturbing the peace!

   My boss just purchase a brand new two door cadillac cash for his 16 yr old soon that just drop out out school last month.I am sitting here thinking about all of the repairs I have to do to my car.

   I can't win for nothing! Parent just told me I need to eat cause I'm getting to skinny. This was the same parent that told me 2 yrs ago I was fat and stop eating!

   Corrections its Every time I leave the house: ✔Phone ✔Wallet ✔Keys ✔extra phone battery and ✔Battery Charger

   You have not experienced crazy until you experience NYC crazy. A man just tried to sell me a book he wrote called Don't beat your kids or they are going to turn out like me. Lol