BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Ghost hunters: "Can you communicate with us?" *Door creeks* Ghost hunters: "Oh so your name is William?"

   Attractive girls are always the most insecure. While these Shrek looking bit$hes, walk around thinking their the s$it.

   Let's have a round of applause for the heroes that they think they can save all the cancer-ridden children by liking and sharing those Facebook statuses.

   Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.

   Too many faithful girls are single, and too many h&es are taken.

   I'm already sorry for what I'm going to do this weekend.

   When advertising your business on the side of your car it’s a good idea not to drive like a complete as&hole

   IKE if you love that feeling when you finally take your shoes off at the end of the day.

   Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.

   Thongs are like barbed wire fences. They protect the property, but don’t block the view.

   *Showering together* Girl: "Baby I want you to do bad things to me ;)" Guy: *Puts shampoo in her eyes*

   If you get cheated on over and over & you decide to stay with that person, You're a fuc&in idiot and deserve everything thats coming to you.

   If you watch the Harlem Shake backwards, it's a video about a guy who parties longer than everyone else.

   Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back but when you're with them they always have their phone in their hand texting.

   If your name is John, your parents were just lazy when they named you.

   "I'm sick of beautiful people who don't have to work for their beauty, when I'm over here sweatin my balls off for all this beauty."

   It’s ridiculous how so much of your future depends on how successful you are as a teenager.

   BEST WAY TO DIE: Clint Eastwood shooting you while Morgan Freeman narrates it.

   .irls Stop editing ya'll pics. what if you go missing? How you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook but you look like a shrek in person.

   what if I just started licking the dentists fingers while they were in my mouth