BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Instagram says it now can sell your pics without your permission. Good luck making money with pictures of Cups of coffee, Cupcakes & clouds.

   If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success.

   BREAKING NEWS: Dora the Explorer suffers a heart attack after discovering Google Maps.

   Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?

   If spiders start flying I'm leaving this planet.

   Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.

   Did you ever notice how a woman's “I'll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I'll be home in 5min” are one and the same?

   When you love someone you take interest in their interests or at least pretend to.

   A huge part of success involves getting rid of people that drain your energy and surround yourself with positivity.

   Adele: "I set fire to the rain!" Spongebob: "That's nothing... I make campfires underwater."

   Fact: zoning out is your brain's way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”

   You say “I'm sorry,” I hear “I surrender.”

   I once bought shoes in China that said “made around the corner”

   I smile politely when someone bumps into me while texting on their phone because I respect their right to ignore the world.

   Facebook is the best way to prove that you made the right decision when you broke up with that person you dated in high school.

   If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you'd never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else's phone. Ever.

   The absolute best way to get revenge is to sit back and watch while people destroy their own lives just by being themselves.

   Turn on radio*: "shine bright like a-" *Turns off radio

   Guys be quiet I'm calling my mom!..... person in background: "PASS THE WEED!"

   we only have 1 day left to make kony 2012 happen