jitney Funny Status Messages

   Ummm its not the same when your writing about SCANDAL or any other show when everyone did that days ago on faceboook!

   Vampires beware!!!! Blade has been released!!!!

   Imagining the horrified look on your kid's face when you tell them "When I was born there was no internet".

   Sometimes You have to realize that ......( some people can stay in your HEART without being in your LIFE ) ......

   We should probably get ready for the Celebrity Plea for Donation....like they cant flip the bill themselves...

   Great Thanks to these doushbags, now I gotta get a background check for a pressure cooker at Sears......

   Typical lol, how all of Boston is on lockdown and businesses are close, except for the Dunken doughnuts which is mandated to run for the duration of the Manhunt!

   During drought season, I consider a paper bag, and good make up for ugly chicks to wear in bed

   WOW: term used by women when they are amazed that one person can be so stupid!!!

   Hey Budyy...."yeah you who is reading this"......Are you still waiting for something funnny? Give me a sec, I'm getting a BJ.....

   Deleting ppl from FB has become the new way to hang-up on ppl. I still miss the feeling I get from hanging-up the phone on someone face!!

   Its trash pick up day tomorrow and my dumb neighbor forgot to take out my mother-n-law!!!! Now i've gotta dump trash all over his yard again!

   News media should report more about professional NBA/NFL cheerleaders that comes out and says their lesbian or gay.....

   These days alot of celebrities are getting divorces. Micheal Jordan just got married, I wonder when the new Air Divorces are comming out?

   Just cuz, I likkes one of your Pictures doesnt mean to come and inbox me stuppid assss questions like, "where are you these days?" , "Duh bitcch, on FB!!!"

   I hate it when me and my subconscious is having a heated debate...and just when I come up with good comebacks, it thinks up a even better one! I thought about drinking on Friday, subconscious said "how about now!".... good one!

   WE WAS SO BROKE GROWING UP MY MOM USE TO KNOCK MY TEETH OUT JUST SO THE TOOTH FAIRY COULD BRING US SOME MONEY

   I dont know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future....

   "Trust Me When I say Anyone can DANCE!!!!!" - Jack Daniels

   Monday is like a math problem. Add irritation, subtract sleep, multiply problems & divide happiness. I hate Mondays!