g0re Funny Status Messages

   They say that if a guy has big feet it means that he has a big pen!s. That just makes the thought of being raped by clowns even scarier.

   Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream.. but Leonardo Dicaprio had a dream inside a dream inside a dream.

   The Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.

   There are some people on facebook who don't understand the difference between 'Whats on your mind?' And I should probably see a therapist about this'

   Some people's facebook $tatuse$ are ridiculously overdramatic. "going to school feels like a knife through my heart!!!" it's like, .....shut up.

   I hate that awkad moment when a dumb b!tch likes a Facebook page called "I Hate Dumb B!tches."

   It's kind of fun to hang out with a younger person who thinks you're a lot cooler than you actually are.

   Cell phones ruined the era of throwing people into pools.

   Self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.

   Breaking a mirror is 7 years of bad luck? Well breaking a condom is 18.

   One hour long text conversation = 5 minute face to face conversation.

   What does frozen beer, burnt pizza and a pregnant girl all have in common? A dumba$$ who forgot to take it out in time.

   Childbirth is nothing compared to walking through tall grass with sh!tty a$$ Pokémon.

   I'm not shy. I'm just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouh to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment$ directed at you will immediately spew from within me.

   If Batman and Catwoman had a kid, it would become either a Batcat, or the less popular Manwoman.

   I dont hate you. I just hope your next period happens in a shark tank.

   "Bromance" should be a relationship status on facebook.

   Awesome idea: On Halloween, order a pizza to get delivered to your house When the delivery guy gets there, pretend you think he's a trick or treater and comment on how he looks like a real delivery person. Give him candy.

   It's annoying when girls take pictures in glasses and they're like "I'm a nerd". Like shut up you're not a nerd you're just a slut with glasses on.

   People ask me if I live my life on the edge. Well, let's just say I'm the kind of guy who eats apples without washing them first.