aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Call off the search for Waldo. I think this large man on the bus, wearing a red and white striped hat, ate him.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 12:05 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was escorted out of the funeral before I was done high fiving everyone.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 12:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate how the iPhone auto-corrects "f**k that" to "yes, dear".
←Rate | 10-06-2010 12:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am imperfection perfected.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 13:11 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The computer just crashed and erased all the work I didn't do this morning.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 13:40 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just entered hour nine of an overly-dramatic sigh.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 11:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, try relaxing your jaw a little more.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 11:27 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lumber companies have a lot of board meetings..
←Rate | 10-07-2010 12:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 18:18 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out cloud 10 is actually the accumulated farts of everyone on cloud 9.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 21:32 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate to brag, but it's the most effortless way to enlighten people about my magnificence.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 22:01 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon bankruptcy spelled with one "oh sh*t" or two?
←Rate | 10-08-2010 02:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't eat nuts at the bar. But I like to run my fingers through them and lick the salt off.
←Rate | 10-08-2010 02:06 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I start drinking earlier and earlier everyday... I had to set my alarm this morning.
←Rate | 10-08-2010 02:06 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was rich, I'd do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
←Rate | 10-08-2010 02:20 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Squirrelly, squirrelly on the street--you shoulda been quicker on your feet.
←Rate | 10-08-2010 12:18 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "...and if elected, I promise you will never hear from me again..."
←Rate | 10-08-2010 13:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Headed to Lowe's. After what I just did in the bathroom, it's best we just build another one.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 16:12 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend talks faster than the speed of sound. This explains why I never hear her.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 17:06 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ha ha there's nobody here. I'm going to steal the internet and sell it on ebay! Oh wait....
←Rate | 10-10-2010 08:29 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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