Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   I know let's come out with some kind of fish product to mask the fact we've been serving horse-every fast food joint

   Somewhere over the US, there's a drone flying on autopilot.

   I've yet to check the status of my Lotto ticket. My biggest fear is that for last five hours here at work, I've put up with unnecessary bull****

   I would say that if my coworkers were picking on me they're leaving someone else alone, but these guys are multi-taskers.

   Sweet Lord Almighty, thanks to this European Satellite that fell on top of my trailer, I can now cancel Direct Tv

   My number is #0. Which is good 'cause I'm from [insert home town] and you probably know it already

   It would be a good day if one could afford to even shoot their Ak ;)

   This status, is guaranteed not to be on an E Card

   It's universal, to point out old skool soda cans and chip bags during classic movies.

   Just once, I'd like to look at the ingredients of a bottled water and see the words "Sea Monkeys".

   Attention burglars: We may or may not be home. Or maybe we are hunters, waiting for you to get closer for a kill shot

   Ever have a dream you just want to write down so you can turn it into a movie? An island with dinosaurs, and a T-Rex. A T-REX!!!!!

   there anything worse than being on vacation, and your copy of Enter The Dragon won't play because of a scraaaaatch????

   On this night 30 years ago, I found out that wrecking on roller skates while wearing parachute pants was no bueno.

   Not judging at all, but if you have a mullet in your commercial, you might want to update your advertising.

   After the first of the year, my healthcare plan will be a Band-Aid and a prayer.

   I think my pet bird just called me a murderer.

   "Toats Mcgoats!!!!!"

   Ten minutes left in the workday. This is where I use the restroom, and wash my hands for a long time.

   Brrr, today is a good day to double-up on the underwear.