bego Funny Status Messages

   My back is not a voicemail, say it to my face.

   I'm not fat. My stomach is 3D

   Never ask a cheater if they cheat. They'll cheat on that question too!

   Having sex doesn't make you a s?ut, and being a virgin doesn't make you a saint.

   EX means ..'' thanks for the EXperience , your time has EXpired , now EXit in my life . !

   The nicer you are, the easier it is for you to get hurt

   One day you're the main suspect.....the next you're not even a person of interest.

   You don't get smarter as you get older. There just aren't any stupid things left that you haven't already done.

   My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.

   Hate mondays, annoy tuesdays, ignore wednesdays, smile thursdays, love fridays, enjoy saturdays, damn sundays.

   The only time a woman succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby

   If she still adores you while you're covered in mud scrabbling to get out of a hole at rock bottom, she's definitely a keeper.

   It's funny how even your best friend can suddenly hate you like a sworn enemy when they think you like the same person they like.

   Ain't no worse feeling than someone you love thinking and believing you did something you didn't even do.

   You want to see a perfect relationship? Watch a damn movie

   The first person you think of in the morning or last person you think of in the night is either the cause of your happiness or your pain

   If you have to ask someone “Didn't you get my text?” that person hates you.

   It appears I'm friends with at least 200 babies on Facebook.

   I'm worried about my bed. It looks really lonely. I'd better give it a few extra hours of cuddling today

   Thank goodness it was Twinkies and not Bacon