BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Sexy is when a woman is hot enough to flaunt it but chooses not to

   It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's 2 months from December and no one gives a crap

   watches Sunday football with you all day... Wife that girl.

   Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your minde. Feelings and emotions.

   The Internet is a lot like ancient Egypt, people writing on walls and worshipping cats

   Holding my phone while in the tub is similar to holding a loved one over a cliff.

   Best thing ever is when you see your X-Girlfriend and she is now your XL-girlfriend.

   The karma of messing with a good girl is the h?e you end up with. This goes to all the players who think they are God's gift to women. Newsflash, you're not!!

   When it comes to returning emails, I only have two speeds: within 3 seconds or within 3 months

   There are the same number of people on Facebook today as there were people in the whole world in 1804

   When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.

   The saddest people in the world always seem to be the nicest.

   Kids, try dealing with bullies the way I did: Grow up to be smarter, wealthier and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook.

   There's a difference between who we love, who we settle for, and who we're meant for.

   Whoever coined the phrase "you don't know what you got till its gone" was talking about toilet paper, probably

   I need to print some my Facebook friends' status updates on toilet paper so I can wipe my a?s with them

   I hate liars, hypocrites, & people who take advantage of people who care about them

   Hollister should offer complimentary gas masks and ear plugs when you walk in the store

   My iPhone just auto-corrected "f?ck you" to "whatever you say honey

   A kick in the nuts is above 9000 del (units) of pain, which is similar to giving birth to 160 kids and breaking up to 3200 bones at a time