BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I meetr somebody who has a kid, they have to show me a photo of their kid. But then when I show them a photo of me to show to their kid, I am weird.

   Not feeling pain does not make you strong. Strength comes from feeling pain, dealing with it, getting over it and moving on.

   One of the most important things I've learned in life is to have at least one person with whom you never need to explain yourself.

   Only those who dare to fall in love will grow a lot wiser.

   It takes everything I have to lie to your face and tell you I never loved you.

   Never forget to love your family.. because when everyone is in and out of your life, family is always there

   My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster

   When I'm in the shower I let the water run down my arms so it looks like I'm shooting water out of my fingertips

   You know you're lazy when you get excited about cancelled plans

   She is so ugly, how does she have a boyfriend? Maybe she has an amazing personality and her boyfriend isnt a judgemental cu$t like you..

   FACT: Friendships with coworkers are based on a mutual hatred for your jobs

   [ ] Democratic party [ ] Republican party [x] Pizza party

   When I'm at a restaurant I like to ask the waiter, “What's your most frequently photographed entree?”

   Adele is pregnant. Can't wait for her next album where she writes 17 angry tracks about diaper changing and crying babies

   When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to damn date them.

   Dont let your daughter wear makeup at 10, date at 12, wear provocative clothing at 14 and then wonder why she got pregnant at damn 16!!

   Seems like it's going to be “die trying” rather than “get rich” kind of life.

   When I die, I want My body to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume

   Unless life also hands you water and sugar, that lemonade is gonna damn suck.

   You're a 90s kid if… you wore the light up shoes! Those were badass.