life Funny Status Messages

   strived his whole life to become wise. When I accomplished my goal I realized it was a big mistake because now I have to put up with idiots.

   I have many problems in my life, but my lips doesnt know them.. they always smile

   The hottest love has the coldest end !!!, Boyfriends come and go, but friends r forever.. enjoy ur SINGLE life

   I used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!

   Spring is almost here! Happy people walking, kids playing outside, dog sh!t everywhere.....Life is grand!

   What do you mean life is to short?... Its the longest bloody thing you could ever go through!

   wondering if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

   Life is like a kernel of corn. You'll go through some $hit, only to come out clean in the end.

   A man is a man all his life. A woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife.

   Life is too short to dance with fat girls

   The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family.

   With today being St Patricks day,I've decided to dedicate my life to helping leprechauns clean up thier act. They're always smoking the pot at the end of the rainbow.

   life is like a roll of toilet paper...the closer it gets to the end> the faster it goes...

   when you think your life sucks, just remember that somewhere in the world is one poor b*stard named Mr. Pelosi....

   There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends.. Good job.. Good food.. Good sleep..&"GOOD _UCK" whatever you are thinking. That's right! :D

   just pressed the REFRESH Button of her life, and Wowww it feels great :D

   Douchenozzles flock to the internet for the simple reason that whatever stupid crap they can get away with online would earn them a cap in the a$$ in real life.

   Life is like a baseball game. When you think a fastball is coming, You gotta be ready to hit the curve.

   Life is like a confused teacher... First she gives the test then she teaches the lesson

   If the best things in life are free? Then why am I always broke?