mike Funny Status Messages

   more bars in more places.

   without me awesome is only aweso

   like superman just without the cape

   pretty sure it's what Jesus would have done...

   While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart

   anyone who says it's as easy as taking candy from a baby, has never tried taking candy from a baby!

   100% positive that he isn't sure!

   loves to go to Washington - if only to be near his money.

   gearing up for hot tub season!

   No matter how little I do in a day....I always feel like I could have done less.

   Horse racing is just like NASCAR only slower.....and with poop.

   What's the big deal with the 2 idiots that snuck in for a white house party for a couple hours? I can't turn on the news without seeing them. "W" pulled the same trick in 2000 and stayed for 8 years and he didn't get that kind of coverage!

   Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."

   I have found that if you love life... life will love you back

   Anyone want to chip in and make a counteroffer to buy back Joe Lieberman?

   Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

   Ok, so now I have my coal in the pressure cooker....How long will this take?

   there are no shortcuts to any place worth going...

   Now is the time to get ready for 2010! Whatever your plans, write them out and map your way!

   one good wish changing nothing, one good decision changes everything!