mickeybruce Funny Status Messages

   ...so the stumbling Cowboys play the bumbling Vikings on Sunday. Uh oh. Somebody gonna be 1-4.

   R.E.M. just recorded a new version of their '90s classic "Everybody Hurts" especially for their older fans. New title: "Everything Hurts"

   can't understand the the problem with "Don't Ask Don't Tell" - the Catholic Church has been using it for hundreds of years, and it's never been a problem

   ...Sorry, Christine O'Donnell, you are NOT smarter than a 5th grader. Thank you for playing, please accept these lovely parting gifts, and GTFO.

   still has Circus Peanuts left over from Halloween 1956. Yum!

   ...the good news: the Rangers are going to the Finals!! the bad news: wrong Rangers :(

   ...thinks animal testing is a terrible idea. they get all nervous and give the wrong answers anyway

   ...Dear Katy Perry: there were girls around with nice boobs before you were born. there will be girls around with nice boobs after you die. get over yourself, please.

   ...roses are red, violets are blue, I'm doing my laundry so I don't smell like you.

   EVERYBODY: [1] HAVE FUN TONIGHT. [2] WANG CHUNG TONIGHT.

   ...the monkey's out of the bottle, man.

   ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.

   [:::] is trick-or-treating for Pop Tarts [:::]

   yo, people that drive 10 mph under the speed limit 'cuz there's a cop behind you. stop it. you ain't gettin' free donuts or anything...

   if you're dressing up like Snooki tonight, allow me to help by rubbing Doritos all over you first ;)

   ...this year in California, the most popular Halloween mask is Arnold Schwartzenegger. The great thing about it is: with a mouthful of candy, you'll sound just like him!

   just looked at Yahoo! Trending Now: Brett Favre and Britney Spears right next to each other. Uh-oh. This could get out of hand in a hurry...

   converted my dishwasher into a snowblower: bought the wife a new snow shovel for her birthday!

   Breaking News... President Obama travels to India to visit former American jobs...

   money isn't the key to happiness? then where is the key? hidden in a stupid box somewhere, like in Pirates Of The Caribbean?