jimmycos Funny Status Messages

   Just think, next year at this time I will be able to say Happy 2012, but with an evil grin on my face,

   "Cheating" is such a harsh word. I prefer "Monogamously Challenged".

   I remember the days when we actually used our phones to talk to each other.

   I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

   Ever have one of those friends that has been there for you, took interest in what you do then just stops talking to

   I think it's interesting that "cologne" rhymes with "alone".

   That time of year again where in a few days we will be able to buy Hearts filled with chocolates for 75% off.

   I need a damn girlfriend...well not a "damn" girlfriend, just a girlfriend...well not just a girl that's a friend but...a girl...well, not a girl, but a woman...OMG I am turning into Mr. Kimball! Damn you, Green Acres!

   it me or does everyone get sick of pancakes by the time you are done eating them...

   I am wondering if Snoop Dog ever watched Charlie Brown.

   Who wants to bet me I don't have a gambling problem?

   Lick the alphabet. Yea, you know what I am talking about, don't even lie.

   I went to a Chinese restaurant and saw the sexiest woman I have ever saw, so I was blunt and said I wanna 69...she brought me Beef and Broccoli.

   What is the most spontaneous thing you plan on doing?

   Have you ever eaten a Hot Dog backwards?

   I had so many great women in my life, yet I don't know where they're at... at least that's what I told the cops ;)

   Remember when you ordered from Columbia House... the first 5 times?

   I'd play Monopoly but I am afraid of the commitment...

   For a minute there, I thought I had just wasted 60 seconds...

   I don't need alcohol to have a good time. I need it to make sure I don't have a bad time...