TJ Funny Status Messages

   engineering the electricals.

   dividing by zero!

   "has changed their status to ""drinking beer in the shower."" 9:03am"

   an office zombie: Bored to undeath

   harvesting paperclips from work

   not the droid you're looking for.

   the next contestant on The Price Is Right!

   taking over the world

   trapped in the Facebook status message textbox; send help!

   making friends and influencing people

   chillin like a villain.

   known to cause cancer in the state of California

   an unlicensed helicopter pilot.

   carbon based.

   200 degrees (that's why they call him Mr. Fahrenheit [he's traveling at the speed of light]).

   "not the issue here, Dude."

   doing the truffle shuffle

   "never on schedule, but always on time."

   If you're not living on the edge you're taking too much space

   I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'" --Bill Maher