Markf Funny Status Messages

   waiting for Congress to demand hearings on the $45M bailout and golden parachute for Conan O'Brien. Oh wait, we only do that for CEOs of large companies - my bad.

   just realized you can re-arrange the letters in Federal Stimulus to spell "Failed Result Sum."

   thinks Obama could help solve the Toyota crisis by raising the federal speed limit to 120 mph

   can't figure out why the Toyota Prius owners would be worried about brakes, since the car can't go fast enough to hurt anything anyway.

   thinks Toyota should change its motto from "Moving Forward" to "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"

   supports the elderly by watching the Superbowl Halftime show.

   wondering if when geriatrics Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend sing, "Who are you?" it has a whole different meaning now.

   relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.

   thinks it's funny that Evolutionists believe enough million monkeys will eventually type out a literary work. Facebook has proven this wrong.

   watching today the bare-knuckled, bruising clash between competitors vying to win recognition for their national pride. Then President Obama dismissed the Healthcare summit and I watched the Olympics.

   glad to hear that SeaWorld is reopening its "safer" shows this week featuring Norman, the Involuntary Manslaughter Whale.

   going over to the dark side...I figure it's just a burnt lightbulb needs replacing.

   just had a work email from someone asking to "bare with me" until the system is back up. I replied that I didn't see how nudity would fix the problem.

   sure now that after Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook) was just announced as the youngest billionaire on Forbe's list, his mom doesn't tell him he's spending too much time on Facebook.

   cautious. There is a "Stop Time" button on the microwave that was probably supposed to read "Stop Timer" but I don't press it, just in case.

   sometimes stops when walking into a store, waiting for the automatic doors to open. Then I realize they aren't automatic.

   snuck his daughter's phone and changed his contact info to Batman. Now it's a little more exciting when she gets a text like 'get ready. picking you up in 5 mins.

   once watched a movie for 30 minutes waiting for a commercial so he could grab a snack -- then remembered it was a DVD.

   saw a man get out of his convertible at Wal-Mart yesterday, take two steps and then turn back to lock the doors. I chuckled because the top was down.

   realizes he is too apologetic sometimes. Sorry.