BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one.

   Girl, you are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts

   An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.". Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.".

   Facebook knows me better than anyone

   We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police

   I SURVIVED Y2K, BIRD FLUE, SWINE FLU AND MAD COW DISEASE. 2012 BRING IT ON.

   Everyone seems normal until you get to know them

   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments..

   Please Wait...My heart is now loading...20% completed.40% completed.80% completed.99.9% completed...Error! Error!..Something has interrupted the download. Please try again later.

   U know some people are like VIRUSES, they ENTER your LIFE, SCAN your POCKETS, TRANSFER your IDEAS, EDIT your MINDE, DOWNLOAD your HEART, and UPLOAD their PROBLEMS

   thinks Facebook keeps trying REALLY hard to connect me with people I'm desperately trying to avoid.

   Facebook account for sale, Friends included

   changed his profile picture. Now I look a little less ugly

   My status has a crush on someone.

   Be who you are, not who others try to make you

   I wish, with a passion, that I could find the strength to give you one more chance.

   Regreting is only a waste of time. if something happened,accept that it happened and there is nothing that can be done to change it.just be happy that it is not yet the end of the world.

   Since I'm now single, if I broke my hand could I put "it's complicated" as my relationship status?

   Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

   Awww! Isn't that sweet. Everyone's so in love from Facebook how long thats going to last.. like in relationship but its complicated WTF