Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 82 of 6384
I wish Santa would just dump 100ft of coal around Biden and Nancy Pelosi's house.
Some people must go through an awful lot of soap, having to wash 2 faces and all .
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12-12-2022 14:34
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I'm going to adopt a dog and call him Peeve. He'll be my pet, Peeve.
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12-12-2022 06:47
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Tonight I will be visited by 3 "Spirits"............. Rum, Vodka, and Gin.
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12-12-2022 06:39
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Oh! Oh! Oh!" ~Dyslexic Santa
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12-12-2022 06:39
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Santa, you break into people's houses and eat their cookies; don't judge me.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day but teach a man to phish and he will steal your social security # so click here to verify your account.
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12-12-2022 06:00
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Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are!
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12-12-2022 05:58
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For a generation who can't find a "good man" you ladies sure are pregnant a lot.
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12-11-2022 23:35
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The holiday season is here. Remember to set your scales back 10lbs at midnight.
Every year, my Christmas list begins with "Dear Santa, my sisters did it. But I have been very good this year, because I'm an angel!
Dogs be like, "I can eat that whole cake in return for getting smacked on the ass with a newspaper? I'm goin' in!"
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12-10-2022 15:19
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I looked up lighters on Ebay and all I could find was 13,749 matches.
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12-10-2022 12:02 by Curly
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I'm still a rock star I tell myself as I heal from a finger sprain caused by opening a jug of milk !
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12-10-2022 10:14
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You know Its bad when you give them a custom ringtone LOL
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12-09-2022 18:20
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I sure hope you like your Christmas gift... It's a year's supply of me!
I got an email today from a bored local housewife who said she was looking for some "hot action." So I sent her the ironing
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12-09-2022 06:45
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Question, Is the speed limit the same if you’re driving in reverse?
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12-09-2022 06:44
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Cops have new drunk driving tests. There’s one they pull out a wallet-size photo of Nancy Pelosi & ask you, ‘Is she attractive?
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12-09-2022 06:44
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Terraria has awoken
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12-08-2022 16:07
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