Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I just love hearing somebody lying, when I know the truth..

   Visa is everywhere you want to be…except out of debt.

   Waiting for someone to tell you they love you is like listening for windchimes in a hurricane.

   Just when you think you've heard it all, someone comes up with a brand new damn lie.

   Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they're out of control.

   LIFE is the art of drawing...WITHOUT an eraser

   I'm not drunk, I'm just trying to walk like Jack Sparrow.

   I hate it when a shower only has two options, either 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.

   In RELATIONSHIP status they should add "Flirtationship"- more than a friendship, less than a relationship

   i mine as well go out and kill the person I hated forever and see if I get away with it.

   Attorney Jose Baez, Got Casey off the hook!! I'm just wondering if he does divorce cases...

   Well for Casey Anthony.... first is the book deals....then the movie deals....who said crime doesnt pay

   at the Casey Anthony Abortion Clinic, It's NEVER too late...

   New Florida tourism promo: "Need someone killed? Bring them to Orlando. Our jurors understand your predicament!"

   You know what would be better than leaving our porchlights on for Caylee tonight? Have hunters turn their spotlights on Casey and turn the hounds loose....

   Just heard the Octo mom called Casey Anthony asking her how to spell chloroform

   There should be a weight limit on High Heels!

   Not guilty? This is the worst episode of Law & Order ever.

   I never realized how many people I know that cared about Britney Spears's sister...

   having at least one more drink then may not call it a night