Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 437 of 6446

The Washington Redskins are temporarily changing their name to the "Washington Football Team", or in other words "WTF".
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07-24-2020 12:58
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The "Person. Women. Man. Camera. TV." test was more difficult than my law exams.
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07-24-2020 12:54
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Erica And Lilo Are Just Like Gnomio And Juliet>:<
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07-24-2020 09:16 by BabyLu
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Show me Karl Marx's grave and I'll show you a Communist Plot.
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07-24-2020 08:10
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All I attract is hoes, lord if I’m a pimp just say that
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07-24-2020 02:34 by Cm
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A lie doesn't become truth,
wrong doesn't become right,
and evil doesn't become good,
just because it's accepted
by a majority.
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07-23-2020 20:12
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The new name should be "The Team Formerly Known as The Redskins"
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07-23-2020 19:18 by TimS.
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I miss the 80's. (The temperatures, not the decade.)
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07-23-2020 16:29 by Fazzy
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Whenever Kids Says Mummy I Love, Just Say Start Talking Because They Need Something
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07-23-2020 08:25 by BabyLu
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I tried having a personal relationship with God. But he said he only liked me as a friend.
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07-23-2020 08:24 by MigdaGwig
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My friends treat me like God. They completely ignore my existence until they need something.
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07-23-2020 08:22
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Remembers when
the only fake news
was the National Inquirer
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07-22-2020 19:10
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I’m already an idiot, I just need a village
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07-22-2020 13:36
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When I see a parked car with the stick figure family on it, I move the husband over and put my studly stick figure next to the wife.
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07-22-2020 13:33
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My Rice Krispies were speaking in tongues this morning, so I’m pretty sure the end days are near.
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07-22-2020 13:31
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I like my sentences like I like my women: awkward but with good colon usage and regular periods.
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07-22-2020 13:31
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From the looks of this gas station bathroom, I missed an alien autopsy by 10 minutes.
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07-22-2020 13:29
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Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
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07-22-2020 12:39
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Half the time I hug anyone I’m just wiping my hands off on their back.
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07-22-2020 12:39
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Remember Darth Vader took his mask off once and died within minutes.
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07-22-2020 09:06
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