Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 305 of 6386
me: [lists something on fb marketplace for $400 that’s worth $1,000 new.] person: take $6??
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01-26-2021 08:15
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What happens in the microwave, stays in the microwave.
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01-26-2021 08:15
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Slow down Biden, you don't have the ruin the country your first week in office
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01-26-2021 08:14
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“once COVID is over” is starting to sound a lot like “once my kids clean their rooms.”
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01-26-2021 08:14
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I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
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01-26-2021 08:13
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The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence. Is this true? I have my doubts.
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01-26-2021 01:28
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I should have been a geologist. Everyday, I manage to hit a new rock bottom.
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01-25-2021 22:01
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The main difference between a Nudist and a Streaker is the type of blur your local TV News channel uses of the incident.
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01-25-2021 11:41
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Ever pick a booger so big that you get it out and suddenly it’s like you’re on top of a mountain, inhaling the world’s largest and most refreshing breath of air that ever was breathed?
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01-25-2021 08:52
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Dear Advertisers – white heterosexuals still use fabric softener, buy insurance and walk their dogs.
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01-25-2021 07:50 by Fazzy
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The Biden crowd has Helen Keller Syndrome. Facts fall on deaf ears, dumb reasoning and blind eyes.
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01-25-2021 07:34 by Fazzy
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The Biden crowd has Helen Keller Syndrome. Facts fall on dear ears, blind eyes, and dumb reasoning.
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01-25-2021 07:28 by Fazzy
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Truth does not mind being questioned. A lie does not like being challenged
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01-24-2021 22:51 by Lonmo
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I precisely had to appreciate you once again. I am not sure what I could possibly have gone through in the absence of those tricks shared by you on such question. It has been a real troublesome matter for me, but looking at a new well-written strategy you
Whoever said "Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today" knew how to log out of facebook.
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01-24-2021 12:43 by Moon
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Whoever said "Rome wasn't built in a day" needed to log out of Facebook.
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01-24-2021 12:16 by Moon
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if "octo" means 8, why is October the 10th month?
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01-24-2021 06:02 by Eddy
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Why don't food companies put beets in boxes instead of cans? ...then the employees can say they're "professional beet boxers"
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01-24-2021 05:01 by Eddy
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Amazing how much technology has advanced with new ways for people to communicate with each other 50 years ago they used to call talking.
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01-24-2021 01:33
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Dear AT&T, I'm not interested but appreciate you wanting to save me money. And if you'd like to save money stop mailing me letters!
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01-23-2021 16:21
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