Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 290 of 6386
Who’s up for joining me for some couples counseling just to see how long it takes until the therapist realizes we don’t even know each other?
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02-26-2021 08:16
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Does anyone know how long you can put chicken in the freezer? I put one in last night and it was dead this morning.
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02-26-2021 08:13
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If you think that a mustache is what made Mr. Potato Head gender specific, you've never met my cousin Vincenza.
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02-26-2021 08:10 by Fazzy
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You know what it means now that Mr. Potato Head has been made gender neutral? Yep. No more Tater Tots.
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02-26-2021 07:37
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Prepare for what you can't Predict & Adapt for what you can't Control.
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02-26-2021 06:55
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My dear Girl ..I also became a writer by writing and wtiting about you .. !!
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02-26-2021 04:25 by NaaN
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n Germany they are preparing for the crisis by stocking up with sausage and cheese. That’s the Wurst Käse scenario.
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02-26-2021 00:06
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I'm also writing to make you be aware of what a incredible encounter our princess enjoyed reading through yuor web blog. She realized a good number of things, which include how it is like to have an excellent coaching nature to make men and women really e
Fun Fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, "Marco" and then an even fainter, "Polo."
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02-25-2021 17:05 by JCGJ
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What is another name for a farting contest? A wind-wind situation!
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02-25-2021 14:56
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A thing I learned during the past four years: Bad behavior gets you nowhere.
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02-25-2021 14:12
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Jo I hate it when tramps sit next to cash machines and ask you for change, cash machines only give out notes. If you want change, go sit next to a pay phone!
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02-25-2021 11:34
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Wear a sombrero to the next wedding you’re invited too. Long after they’re divorced they’ll talk about the guy in the sombrero.
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02-25-2021 10:33
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How to win an argument with a woman: 1. Too late, you’re already wrong.
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02-25-2021 09:58
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I’m tired of people complaining about $7.00 dollars beers, $10.00 dollars parking, and $20.00 dollars cover charge. Don’t like the prices? Stop coming to my house.
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02-25-2021 09:45
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Hey, NASA, do you mind looking for my son’s shoe while you’re on Mars? He’s looked “everywhere.”
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02-25-2021 09:44
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The joy you get as a parent when you buy a big pizza and garlic bread to share, but they don’t like it!
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02-25-2021 09:29
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PSA: Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they still fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
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02-25-2021 09:14
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Hey, Coca-Cola! I don't know how to be "less white", but I do know how to drink less Coke.
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02-25-2021 08:40
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Gas prices are soaring and inflation around the corner, but thank God their are no offensive tweets.
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02-25-2021 08:37
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