Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon So...you've been eating hot dogs, chicken nuggets and other processed meats all your life, but you won't get the shot because you don't know what's in it????
←Rate | 01-04-2022 08:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so ironic that they keep calling us sheep, yet they're the ones taking medicine from the petting zoo.
←Rate | 01-03-2022 20:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Fleas Navidad.
←Rate | 01-03-2022 09:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much would a wood chuck would chuck if you pls shut the hell up? 😀
←Rate | 01-02-2022 18:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The least knobby dot, the least knobby dot, the least knobby dot for annual quantum police thee dot… or whatever that Spanish Christmas song is saying.
←Rate | 01-02-2022 05:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one...
←Rate | 01-01-2022 19:14 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that I have lived through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches.
←Rate | 01-01-2022 18:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old Age comes at a really bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.
←Rate | 01-01-2022 09:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon And in Technology news, even though 2022 was expected, Apple has announced the coming year will only be 2021s.
←Rate | 01-01-2022 08:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women seem to want security. At least that's what they yell whenever I come near them.
←Rate | 01-01-2022 08:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with everyone calling it "Holiday decorations" back in my day, we called it a little something like Christmas.
←Rate | 12-30-2021 16:26 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I knew I’d have this many brain cells left, I would have partied a little harder in my twenties.
←Rate | 12-30-2021 07:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only difference between the New Matrix movie and the old ones is that the Red & Blue pills are now suppositories
←Rate | 12-30-2021 07:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It must be extremely hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.
←Rate | 12-30-2021 07:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Realizing his horrible mistake, Judas bitterly hurled his half-eaten Klondike bar into the sea.
←Rate | 12-30-2021 07:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could change one thing I did in 2021, I would change not spending the night, in the streets of Dallas, to wait for the resurrection of JFK Jr.
←Rate | 12-29-2021 22:04 by Trump2024 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son came running back from school waving a paper in his hand. Daddy, Daddy. Look! I got a B in my reading test! That’s a D you idiot.
←Rate | 12-29-2021 20:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life... Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...
←Rate | 12-29-2021 20:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never knew Masklophobia existed until I encountered 2021.
←Rate | 12-29-2021 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK. We are going into a new year. Be good and dont touch anything..
←Rate | 12-29-2021 17:29 Comments (0)  




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