Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "instagram are you okay?" "yeah i'm vine" "what was that" "i said i'm fine"

   Kids today will never understand the feeling of slamming a phone shut after an argument. All they can do is just poke at a screen.

   Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying 'you're not pregnant have a nice day!'

   Bi&ches Be Like Wake up *pic* Get dressed *pic* School Flow *pic* Bored *pic* With Bae *pic* No Filter *pic* Goodnight *pic* Goodnight *pic*

   Paula Deen would like everyone to know she is sincerely sorry that there are other races.

   Dear skinny gym girls... exercise and yoga pants don't fix ugly.

   do we really care what kim kardasian named her next tv show?

   Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?

   If you rearrange the letters in North West, it spells Bad Parents.

   Freedom isn't free, freedom costs a buck o five.

   so they asked Paula Deen if she ever said the "N" word.....i dont think she's ever used "nonfat"

   my husband says I have multiple personalities... well 4 can play that game...

   Paula Deen dropped by Food Network for racial slurs.. she has no one to blame butter self...

   Paula Deen just got chopped!

   BFD, Paula Deen once said a racial slur. I doubt there's a person in America who hasn't said at least one!!

   Seems most people live life to the foolest...

   Even if they sold ten-ply toilet paper, I would still fold it at least twice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have trust issues.

   It is very important to encourage personal growth. I often try to encourage myself to grow past making fun of stupid people.

   Freedom is not free. It costs a lot of freedom.

   thinks that Kanye West stormed in when Kim was giving birth and shouted "yo respect to the woman but I think Beyonce would be grunting and giving birth much better....much much better".