Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 24 of 6384
accidentally put my phone in airplane mode and my front door blew off
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01-12-2024 10:32
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What do you call 100 sheep rolling down a hill A lambslide
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01-12-2024 10:28
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"When one door closes, another one opens"! -Boeing
I'm so old that I remember when the only fake news was the National Enquirer.
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01-11-2024 18:46
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I rescued a cow from a slaughterhouse today. I named it Jake from Steak Farm.
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01-11-2024 12:14
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We should have a national quiet day where everyone just shuts up for 24 hours.
Cant' wait for the Bidens sentencing day.
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01-10-2024 15:00
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People's driving skills got me looking both ways at green lights!
Shiny, pointy nipples! Oh, sorry, Facebook wanted to know what was on my mind
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01-09-2024 15:49
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The world would be a much better place if everyone grew vegetables instead of electing them.
Can't hardly wait for tRumps sentencing day... 😆
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01-08-2024 23:29 by Donald
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Sometimes I don't feel like going to work... But then I remember I was born cute, not rich.
Pagw 250
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01-07-2024 20:20
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If you buy all your horse tack from Amazon is it considered a Mail-Order Bridle?
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01-07-2024 15:28
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January
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01-06-2024 20:54
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Getting married is like going to the restaurant. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that...
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01-06-2024 14:44 by Gabe
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Kids these days will never know the pain not being able to see a movie because they are all rented out.
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01-05-2024 20:16
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I went to a resturant yesterday and I ordered the soup of the day. When they brought it I said, "This is chicken noodle soup. On the sign it says that the soup of the day is clam chowder." The waiter told me that because it's a leap year, all the soups ar
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01-05-2024 13:47
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NOT 1 MAN ANYWHERE IN HISTORY HAS EVER LOOKED AT A WOMAN AND SAID , YEA SHE'S PRETTY BUT IF ONLY SHE DREW HER EYEBROWS ON SHE'D BE SMOKIN HOT .
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01-04-2024 13:41
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When I get bored, I like to call in sick to places that I don't work. Today, I am getting written up at Kohl's.
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01-04-2024 12:00 by Sam
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