Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 191 of 6384
As a teen: hiding in the shed, secretly drinking. As a dad: hiding in the shed, secretly drinking.
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03-21-2022 12:26
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Gonna start lying about my age by adding 20 years so everyone tells me how good I look for my age.
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03-21-2022 12:26
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Women drinking coffee. My three favorite things.
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03-21-2022 12:24
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I honestly think we are asking too much of cauliflower.
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03-21-2022 12:24
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Every dang time I'm about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up. .
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03-21-2022 12:23
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Bikers: Representing the 3rd guy from the left on the evolutionary chart throughout modern history.
I know not with what weapons WW3 will be fought, but WW4 will be fought with sticks and stones.
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03-19-2022 17:47 by Fazzy
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Gas prices have got everybody driving they're on probation: Straight to work and then strait home.
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03-19-2022 12:17
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you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?
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03-19-2022 11:53
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My generation had Wonder Woman. Your generation has to Wonder if it's a Woman.
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03-19-2022 11:25
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I was told this is where you order Door Dash.....SMH.....
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03-19-2022 07:51
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Hey gurl, are you a public school? Cuz I wanna shoot a bunch of little kids inside you.
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03-19-2022 02:19
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I would like to have sex with the first woman I ever had sex with just to show her how much better I am now. I'd be like, "Hell yeah baby, look who doesn't cry during sex anymore!"
I learned that just because you wake up naked in your back yard after a full moon and don't remember anything it doesn't mean you're a werewolf!
Expecting truth from corporate media is like expecting love from a prostitute. That’s not why they exist.
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03-18-2022 03:32
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Global Warming is a fictional manufactured crisis and a total scam.
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03-18-2022 03:31
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I’ve spent more time in Facebook Jail than they gave Smollett.
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03-18-2022 03:31
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Between the price of ammo, gas and lumber, being a Redneck is getting expensive.
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03-18-2022 03:30
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4 out of 5 dentists recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum. The 5th one recommends wax lips.
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03-17-2022 17:44
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how do you tell the difference between a gator & a croc? gator is a mask while croc is a shoe
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03-17-2022 14:12 by Eddy
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