Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 174 of 6384
Does putting ketchup on everything affect your credit score?
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04-19-2022 12:47
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I bet there is just a lot of awkward silence after a mime orgy.
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04-19-2022 12:46
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My business portfolio is a cigarette butt inside an empty beer bottle.
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04-19-2022 12:46
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Do they have a pregnancy test for immaculate conceptions?
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04-19-2022 12:45
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I think calling them maggots is insensitive... they should be referred to as larvasexuals.
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04-19-2022 12:45
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When we were young, we were given the impression that strangers would offer us drugs much more often than has happened in real life.
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04-19-2022 11:15
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Demonstrate how much you suck.
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04-19-2022 11:15
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Your meme-fu is weak and brings much shame to your entire clan.
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04-19-2022 11:15
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We thought that our ability for compassion made us human. Turns out, it was our ability to select each image containing a boat.
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04-19-2022 11:14
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The bird flu? I hope so.
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04-19-2022 11:14
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Been breading racing deer. Just trying to make a quick buck and some fast doe.
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04-19-2022 11:13
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In France you don’t say “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which means “you are missing from me.” I love that.
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04-19-2022 10:42
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One day I would like to turn on the news and hear, “There is Peace on Earth.”
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04-19-2022 10:41
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I make 6 figures, but the zeroes are in the front.
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04-19-2022 10:41
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Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave surge through it. Probably should have warned her about the new electric fence.
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04-19-2022 10:40
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Please lower gas prices, I’m not built for onlyfans
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04-19-2022 09:41
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Her: “Oh my God! Where did you learn to do that with your tongue? Me: “Cadbury eggs.”
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04-19-2022 09:37
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My new ring tone is a woman faintly screaming ‘Help me, Superman. Help me!’ and then I run away, unexplained.
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04-19-2022 09:19
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getting married and then Divorced is like a Casino.... ..you go in all excited and optimistic, you stumble out broke, drunk and talking to yourself.
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04-19-2022 09:18
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On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
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04-19-2022 09:18
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