Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 110 of 6384
If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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08-02-2022 01:13
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
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08-02-2022 01:12
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive, and all the impersonators would be dead.
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08-02-2022 01:12
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Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
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08-02-2022 01:11
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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits in the newspaper.
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08-02-2022 01:10
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According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.
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08-02-2022 01:10
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
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08-02-2022 01:09
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Anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron.
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08-02-2022 01:09
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Are you from Mississippi? Because you're the only miss whose piss I'd sippi
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08-01-2022 22:38
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Not only did Benjamin Franklin discover electricity, he was also our greatest president.
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08-01-2022 21:16
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Just when I am about to give up hope for society, I see a little old lady smile and give up her seat for a pregnant man.
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08-01-2022 00:03
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When all else fails, there’s always delusion.
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07-31-2022 23:58
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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07-31-2022 23:57
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Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman… or a bad woman.
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07-31-2022 23:56
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Can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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07-31-2022 23:55
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When Jill whispers in Joes ear she hears an echo.
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07-31-2022 23:54
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I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.
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07-31-2022 23:53
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As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
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07-31-2022 23:53
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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07-31-2022 23:51
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Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
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07-31-2022 23:51
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