Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   With 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner, how does the shampoo know to go first?

   The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.

   Ooh Yoda! And did it really take you all day to come up with that insult?

   I have a pervert for a Dentist.....I mentioned to him that "I'd rather get pregnant than have a tooth filled !" My Dentist replied, "Decide now so I can adjust the chair accordingly

   It took me 2 seconds, Yoda.

   My name is Gary Koenig and I'm the king of lame comedy!!!

   He won Kentucky by 26 points then immediately disabled their tornado warning systems, leading to 18 deaths. Hahahahaha. As someone who doesn't live there, in that country I mean, I finally news like this very, very entertaining and funny 😂

   He won Kentucky by 26 points then immediately disabled their tornado warning systems, leading to 18 deaths. Hahahahaha. As someone who doesn't live there, in that country I mean, I find news like this very, very entertaining and funny 😂

   I'm still glad kamala lost.

   He's never won against a man. Lolllllll

   Meteorologists said Kentucky offices were staffed and issuing alerts ahead of the severe weather in Pulaski and Laurel counties. Gov. Beshear confirmed that in a news conference on Saturday.

   Q. What do men want in a woman? A. XX chromosomes.

   No, there is no indication that the current Kentucky Governor, Andy Beshear, has removed or gotten rid of tornado sirens. In fact, Kentucky emergency officials emphasize that sirens are a vital part of the warning system, particularly for those outside in

   I had corn flakes for dinner.

   My mother-in-law asked me to get her something to drink with her name on it. So I got her a Monster. And that's how the fight started!

   Schifoso cat bastidz.

   So...why does Dairy Queen feel the need to turn my Blizzard upside down after all these years? I get it. You can stop doing it now.

   I got some Dr. Scholl's shoe cushions. I don't think a Doctorate Degree is needed to come up with shoe cushions. I would have bought them from a Mr. Scholl.

   Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

   Weed smoking and turkey pulling today. Oops…reverse those verbs. Sorry