Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 180 of 6384

   messageicon Can Kill Two Stones With One Bird.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 05:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you are part of my 99 problems.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 08:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont think he gonna watch the african nations cup... 347 shots and only 3 on target..?
←Rate | 01-11-2010 08:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Winter always reminds to think ahead for the springtime...meaning...gotta find somewhere to hide the bodies when the snow thaws.......
←Rate | 01-11-2010 09:56 by ds Comments (0)  


   messageicon "A lion attacks a bull of eats him in just a few minutes.When he is done he lets out a loud roar.while he is roaring a hunter comes and shoots the lion killing him instatly.Moral of the story:when you are full of bull, keep your mouth shut!!
←Rate | 01-11-2010 10:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if Conan O'Brien feels like the red headed step child of NBC? .....oh wait, he does have red hair!
←Rate | 01-11-2010 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honk if you love Jesus! Text while you drive if you want to meet him!
←Rate | 01-11-2010 10:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just her or did anyone else thing we would be living like the Jetsons in 2010?!
←Rate | 01-11-2010 10:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just her or did anyone else think we would be living like the Jetson's in 2010?!
←Rate | 01-11-2010 10:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says the sad part of being strong is that nobody bothers to ask when you're hurt.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 11:04 by bot Comments (0)  


   messageicon says the hardest part of being independent is that people may think you're better off alone.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 11:05 by bot Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm worse at doin my best
←Rate | 01-11-2010 14:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon took a viagra pill today but it got caught in my throat and not I have a stiff neck.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 15:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone stole my identity...its okay though, they gave it back when my kids called him daddy
←Rate | 01-11-2010 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spent two hours trying to lick his elbow...brought back memories of an akward time during puberty
←Rate | 01-11-2010 15:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists now say that within 40 years, robots will be doing most of the jobs we don't want to do, especially illegal robots from Mexico.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 15:47 by tomcall Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man in Washington D.C. was apprehended by the Secret Service for taking off his clothes and jogging naked near the White House. In related news, this is probably the last time Joe Biden ever takes Ambien.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 15:49 by tomcall Comments (0)  


   messageicon this cold weather doesn't bother me. It's the weaklings who b!tch about it that get on my nerves.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 16:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to see the wizard. I need a brain. Thats what my GF said.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 16:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Mark McGwire has admitted to using steroids. In other shocking news, Snoop Dogg has admitted to using marijuana, and Bill O'Reilly has a big mouth.
←Rate | 01-11-2010 17:18 Comments (0)  




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