Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I hate it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. For the fifth time, I do not want to go to your cat's birthday party! Besides, my dog is receiving his First Communion that day.

   We'll take down our Robert E. Lee statues when you take down your Martin Luther King statues.

   Did you know that "Go hang a salami, Doc! Note; I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod. I’m a lasagna hog." is a palindrome? Now you do..

   : Baby trump needs to read two folders a day of positive news about him self , so he can feel good about him self. Boy talk about a bunch of fake news.

   According to most of you people here, I guess the holocaust is considered freedom of speech?

   Not standing for the national anthem is considered offensive, but rallying a hate group is considered freedom of speech? I'm convinced, you people are messed up in the head.

   Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

   You can not take people's right away who want to take other people rights. You become as bad as them. We all have rights, even stupid people like the hate and anti hate group people.

   Hate group gets permit to protest. Anti hate group does not get permit to protest. But the hate group is the criminals for obeying the law.

   Anti hate groups protest hate groups for wanting to take away people's rights, by taking away their rights. That kids is a mental illness.

   I don't care that you don't support The President. Hell, you can't even support yourself !

   Tump haters are haters of all true Americans. Elitist, cosmopolitan, pompous jerks. Get a job and get a life.

   Oops, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that you were a Special Needs Person. Until you said, “I don’t like The New President of the United States of America.”

   It took Trump two days - and outcry from lawmakers and many other people on social media -- to condemn white nationalists and neo-Nazis. I no longer want to support a president like that. I was a huge Trump supporter - not anymore...

   Someone asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave them a glass of water.

   She doesn’t need a sugar daddy, she needs a glucose guardian.

   I see that you live next door to a pilot. You know, pile it here and pile it there.

   People are like mattresses. You start out firm then end up sagging in the middle.

   Good job Trump for finally denouncing the white nationalists. Now that wasn't hard, was it?

   Ladies, when I hit on you don't tell me that you're engaged. You're just currently booked. And bookings can be cancelled any time.