Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 5481 of 6446

   messageicon its ALOHA Friday no work till monday !!!
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Changing the face can change nothing. But facing the change can change everything.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:45 by fofo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm stuck to the couch. I think I'm half man half sofa now. Just call me a mofa.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just googled the word ''anagram'' and it said, ''Did you mean: nag a ram?'' Well played, Google. Well played.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:36 by Lesley Comments (2)  


   messageicon The worst thing about calling in sick today is not being able to post last night's rage fest pictures until this weekend.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wedding's in 3 weeks, I wish I could invite all of you but the Waffle House only fits 43.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate whoever invented 6:30 am
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people say "don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful" you shouldn't answer with "Don't worry, I have plenty of other reasons to hate you."
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships would be great if it wasn't for all those feelings.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon waiting for everyone else to post their birthday message on my buddy's wall so I can cut and paste the one I like best.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 12:58 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm wondering which is worse; the fact i'm is talking to the toaster or the fact that the toaster is talking back
←Rate | 11-19-2010 12:22 Comments (1)  


   messageicon has a perfect body, but it's in the trunk and starting to smell
←Rate | 11-19-2010 12:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm having a Deja vu of Christmas posts
←Rate | 11-19-2010 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just gonna stand there and watch me roar, but that's alright because I am a dinosaur.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 11:48 by mmZZ41n Comments (2)  


   messageicon standing under the mistletoe but would rather be under the cameltoe!
←Rate | 11-19-2010 11:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dropping the fish I had for lunch off at the pond
←Rate | 11-19-2010 11:25 by Aaron Comments (1)  


   messageicon wonders if there's an alternative to mistletoe. one that allows punching.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 11:11 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon has to go pee. and soon, or it's gonna be a BP
←Rate | 11-19-2010 10:58 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left