Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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My husband understands that when we argue, and I say "Fine, do what you want." I really mean "If you do that, I will stab you in your sleep." 
In short, you have all the social prospects of a garden gnome.
There is no Hell. There is only France. --Frank Zappa
Ever look at a pic someone posted and think sarcastically to yourself "Imagine that."
Q: What do you call a Steelers fan holding a bottle of champagne after the Super Bowl? A: Waiter.
refusing to take NO for an answer, Big Ben just raped the Lombardi Trophy.
I don't care what anyone says Brett Favre is somewhere totally kicking himself in the a$$ right now!
Looks like Mr. T and Flav O Flav had a baby and he is one of the Black Eyed Peas!!
"Glee" after the Super Bowl? From politics to TV shows, Fox continues to polarize the U.S.
I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, men don't think like that. We think I wanna screw her! No sleep involved
"Sometimes you can sneak the tight end in the back" that sounded so dirty!
"I gotta feeling... that tonight's gonna hurt the Black Eyed Peas"
If only Slash could have played for the other 13 minutes it would have been a great halftime!
Bill O'reilly, you are interviewing the President of the US, not Lindsay Lohan. Let the man finish a thought would you? douchebag.
thinking maybe Doritos can bring back my love life like it did for Grandpa...
With so many interceptions you'd think we were watching Brett Favre play.
Superbowl: the only time in a year that you tell people to be quiet because a commercial is on.
thinks if you are the fortunate one to sing our National Anthem at the SUPERBOWL, then shouldn't you at least know the lyrics? fail, BIGTIME!
Really disappointed that Disney on Ice has nothing to do with liquor. Anyone want some stupid show tickets?
People compare the super bowl to the daytona 500, thats BS people dont watch the race at home for the comericals... 