Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I want my covid vaccine to be delivered via blow dart

   Waxing my car. God knows how it ever got to be so hairy

   Me: *whispering to husband* you are looking really hot in your suit. I’m surprised no one has hit on you Husband: well you’re here with me Me: oh yeah Husband: and we’re at a funeral

   What do geologists do on a day by day basis? I mean…haven’t we basically discovered all the rocks by now? I don’t get it.

   I happen to be writing to make you know what a remarkable discovery my cousin's daughter had using your site. She noticed such a lot of pieces, including what it is like to possess a wonderful helping mindset to have folks just understand some multifacete

   Trump 2024

   I'm your president now.

   Sure are a lot of gender reveals for their being no genders

   Manwich Sloppy Joe Sauce is changing its name to Genderneutralwich.🥫

   dupa blada

   Kill me pls

   Tiger Woods is struggling with his driving. A pull to the left got him into tree trouble.

   Anyone else impressed with the clown with no life who beefed up his "likes" to over 4,000 over a lame chicken joke. Oh, to be 9 again.

   Gas prices are shooting up faster than the Biden vote count at 2am...

   Marriage tip #12: Remember to always leave a healthy amount of cups and trash laying around your house. That way your wife always has something to clean up. A busy wife is a happy wife.

   My account has hacked, but if you receive an inappropriate message, it was probably still me.

   If a status update gets posted on Facebook and no one likes it did it really happen?

   Screw God, I'm worshipping the golden statue of Trump from now on.

   When Trump dropped bombs, the media was all over him. When Biden does, nothing but praise.

   A friend is someone who'll stop whatever he's doing to bring a change of underwear to you at Tio Ricardo's Guadalajara Cantina after you attempted and won the Montezuma's Revenge 50 Lb. Burrito and Enchilda Challenge.