Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Adulthood is just another word for 'liver damage'.

   The Pilgrims were refugees and the Native Americans took them in, fed them and helped them, don't ever forget

   Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy sh*t we don't need

   “It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.” ― Bertrand Russell

   Trump mocks the physical appearance of a reporter who suffers from a congenital disease. Idiot.

   Everything gets stolen this Friday, because it's Black Friday

   How did taking in refugees work for the native Americans? Dont ever forget that

   ....... Well ... now that Thanksgiving is over ... I'm fed up ...

   I think I've gobbled up about as much as I can gobble on Turkey Day.

   Don't foget to set you scales back 10 pound this weekend!!!

   Led Zeppelin doesn't have to be your favorite band. But if they're not one of your top three, we shouldn't be friends. . .

   so is anybody in the bathroom,drinking wine out of a red solo cup, hiding from the family yet?

   no really what are reindeer games ?

   If only fans of celebrities, football, rock concerts etc would get as excited about racism, injustice, poverty, illegal wårs..man would be live in a better place

   *Turns on phone and responds to "Happy Thanksgiving" texts all day*... ~misses Thanksgiving dinner~

   I enjoy long romantic scrolls on my phone.

   Ummmm, yes,,, I need to return this Taylor Swift calendar.. After 4 dates, it fell apart and wrote a vicious song about me.

   One hell of a Tuba lesson today. I nailed it.... [Anne Franks last diary entry]

   "Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?"... Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job... "OK"... Number 7 will shock you..."You're hired"

   (1620).. We Indians will bury the hatchet and teach you to farm...*Pilgrims huddle* It's a ruse,, this soil looks awful for growing hatchets.