Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   For Halloween I'm going as laundry, women love doing laundry.

   Guys you ever look down at the urinal and think “Oh man I am huge!!” Then realize you have your reading glasses on? Me neither.

   "When you put a Sea-shell up to your ear, you can hear the ocean" ..... Duh! Hey Dumb a$$, why don't you drop the shell that you just picked up off the beach and turn around? *tada* there's the ocean......Shhhhhhhh.......now listen.

   Its a pity Gadhafi died without revealing' where he bought all those cool sunglasses....smh

   Gadaffi will take many secrets to his grave: dirt he had on Bush; dirt he had on Blair, but also how to spell his name correctly.....

   When someone ends their posts with "just sayin" I would love to smack the sh!t out of them and poke their eyeballs out with an ice pick....other than that I am having a great day!!

   BBC News: Gaddafi 'launching cluster bombs'. Rebel forces to retaliate with Honey nut missile.

   Moammar Gadhafi shades for sale........ replaced the lens where the bullet went through

   Look to the left. Now look to the right. Guess what? I just virtually slapped you :)

   No, mom. Being on twitter, facebook and youtube all at the same time is NOT called "doing nothing". It's called multitasking

   Why I don't like people: 1%: Logical reason. 99%: I just don't.

   Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.

   Dear (:, you're doing it wrong. Sincerely, :).

   This Halloween .pour bottle of oil over your naked body tah dah new born baby.

   Gene Simmons killed... what the hell was he doing in libya

   I can only assume that naming your daughter Destiny is your way of sentencing her to a life of internet web cam modelling.

   Maybe if the Libyans spent less time firing into the air, the civil war could have ended 4 months ago.

   A semi-literate bear enthusiast will feel misled after clicking on the "grisly photo" link in Yahoo News Libya coverage.

   Glad Doc Brown no longer needs plutonium for his flux capacitor, ‘cause the Libyans are to busy having a party.

   I wish my homework was horny, so it would do itself. Just sayin.