Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos.

   You may be an open book but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma

   I hope the penalty for providing false information to law enforcement officers includes sterilization.

   Please, smart people, stop getting out of jury duty.

   Still Cant Believe Were More Than Halfway Through This Year o:

   Remembers the days when editing a photo involved for scissors and tape...

   There should be a temporary ignore function on cell phones.

   Dear girl with flip flops on and has six toes. I enjoy your confidence but let's get some boots on

   Before we work on artificial intelligence, Why don't we do somthing about natural stupidity?

   I don't get why all my drug dealers are so unreliable?

   After being dumped, everyone should have the right to tie their ex up and interrogate them.

   wants to start a women's magazine called "Period". And some months I'll send it out late just to freak out my subscribers.

   I wonder if that Casey Anthony chic is single?.... She's gotta be a Maniac in the bedroom!!.

   if Casey Anthony didn't pay her taxes, she'd be in prison right now

   What did 0 say to 8? "Hey, nice belt!

   Casey Anthony must be a slut, it took 12 people to get her off..

   Facebook Skype: now married people can cheat via Skype while watering their crops on FarmVille.

   Some girl in China lost her virginity at 12, her name was 'SUM YUNG HO'

   just told my kids about the Casey Anthiny verdict and that if they didn't shape up I was moving the family to Florida

   misses being naked and playing twister with the cat.