Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Never judge a girl by her makeup!

   Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

   going rabbit hunting

   If I ever die because of marijuana, mark on my grave, “I am too stoned to get up!”

   I Haven't been to church in a couple years, sure hope I don't catch on fire........

   CONSEQUENCES OF TODAY'S MODERN LIFE STYLES: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Your kids and my kids are beating our kids!

   If you read this, I'm SMART. If you like this, you agree that I'm SMART. If you copy and paste this, you are spreading that I'm SMART & if you don't like this, you are jealous coz I'm SMART!

   there a video feed in my bedroom that I don't know about? All these people talking about "He is risen" are making me suspicious this morning...

   I see you poked me. I assume you are DTF?

   Thought I put my finger on something good, but its snot.

   There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

   People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

   How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

   Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right.

   If you believe you can tell me what to think, I believe I can tell you where to go.

   We have just enough Religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

   We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

   The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.

   She said "Harder!" I did that. She said "Faster!" I did that. She said "Deeper!" I philosophized.

   OMG! Jesus is back! .... Hide the eggs!