@gnarleycharley Funny Status Messages
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Dear Santa don't drink the milk at Bill Cosby's house!!!
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When I win the Mega Millions...The first order of business is buy the company I work for. Second, fire myself and collect unemployment...double dipping
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I think Mitt Romney should pick Hologram Tupac for his running mate..
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Dear Face Book you keep offering up people for me to friend, but then you get all concerned and ask me how I know them. You can't be the pimp and the cop!
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Goooodnight Vietnam !!! RIP Robin Williams one of a kind...
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Bill Cosby's lawyer says Cosby is legally blind, that might explain the sweaters & why he can't see his wedding ring.
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found out the hard way that his company doesn't celebrate National Speedo day...
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Tom Brady should be forced to spend those 4 games at a Children's Hospital blowing up balloon animals.
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I'm having a royal wedding watching party...drinking beer out of tea cups. Pinkies up....chug chug chug
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Can't wait to buy Randy Travis's new album "Down and Loaded"with the hit single "Pants On The Ground"
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Kanye West is 53 million in debt...I heard Taylor Swift has started a go fu%# yourself account...
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I might be a 3XL at the mall, but I'm only a petite at "The Big and Tall Store"
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Don't wash your car on Friday……It always rains satellites when you wash your car.
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"The food at the last supper was pretty terrible so I ordered pizza" #BrianWilliamstories
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Experts think the Oscar for best picture will go to Boyhood or Bird-man. Kanye West thinks it will go to Beyoncé.
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I just walked into my house and yelled "Nobody I'm Home"....I think I need a dog.
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make sure you spell Harry correct and don't leave out the word "Prince" in your search for Harry Nude pictures....
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Breaking news Roger Goodell has just given Aaron Hernandez a 2 game suspension.
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I'm so crazy I'm thinking about springing forward right now....see you in an hour!
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running around the house with a wrapping paper tube saying “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
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