Funny Status Messages

   I got 352 likes Facebook post and somehow I feel I should get some sort of Facebook consolation prize, or something.

   The only change in my life is tha I'm consuming more food than before because nothings here to stop me

   I know I’m paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?

   If you're pausing for dramatic effect.... just keep it going

   Now that Hugh Hefner has passed away, do the bunnies get the house?

   What's with all the hearts on Facebook?

   I survived the polar vortex like some kind of post apocalyptic warrior.

   Digital world explained simply. Earlier -First thing in the morning - Toothpaste. Now -First thing in the morning - Copy Paste.

   Don't feel bad if no one talks to you on social media sites as all we could do is type.

   Yeah, I've always heard of it, and the young and old, but the fact is that we have to be awake for a few days ago by the end of the season.

   I've always been a night owl who likes to get up early. See my dilemma?

   Go jump in a lake! No I mean like literally, it's good to do on hot days like this.

   The thing I don't like about Twitter is don't give you enough room to write all your thoughts out and you always end up cutting short every sente

   Waiter: What would you like? Me: I’ll have the Double Deep Fried McMeme Supreme with extra spicy cream.

   Whoever discovered DNA, I hate that person so much. We can't even get away with crimes these days. This sucks ass!

   The problem with quotes by famous people you see on Facebook is you never know if they're authentic or not. Albert Einstein,

   I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza.

   Now that Valentine's Day is over and cake candy and flowers are 50% off, if anyone's interested I'm single!

   I avoided the fat little chubby kid with wings carrying a weapon and marking myself safe after The Saint Valentine's Day Massacre.

   Just remembered that it's Halloween and won't be getting any trick-or-treaters this year, which is all good as I might need my fast food condiments to help survive the Coronavirus.