Funny Status Messages

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5921

Page: 5921 of 6455

Cinco de Mayo...when we commemorate the sinking of the great Spanish Mayonnaise flotilla which liberated Mexico from the iron grip of the Spanish mayonnaise monopolies...

←Rate | 05-05-2010 16:23 Comments (0)

is thinking that Facebook must be female. Just when you think you've figured her all out, she change...

←Rate | 05-19-2010 23:33 by RON Comments (0)

LOVE- Lets Over View Eachother

←Rate | 06-03-2010 16:34 by XXX Comments (0)

the difference between a goon and a goblin

←Rate | 12-06-2009 17:26 Comments (0)

The light at the end of the tunnel is still on. It's just controlled with a motion sensor to conserve enrgy!

←Rate | 01-04-2010 10:50 Comments (0)

had a girlfriend with a wooden leg, until he broke it off!

←Rate | 02-13-2010 15:58 by COREY Comments (0)

Fantasy sentence for pedophiles, rapists & animal abusers: Reduce the size of the license plate production zone and build a non-sterile room for use exclusively to test beauty products and corrosive industrial cleaning products on said wastes of skin.

←Rate | 06-06-2012 02:05 Comments (0)

Females be killing me with that Trey Songz is my Baby Daddy! ...B1TCH that n1gga don't even know you exist, shut cho lonely @ss up!

←Rate | 06-09-2012 18:27 by Tha_Joka Comments (0)

Some woman calls me the UPS man, because I deliver that package right on time.

←Rate | 06-26-2012 16:10 Comments (0)

i just saved a bunch of money on Christmas by getting my daughters batteries with toys not included for Christmas this year.

←Rate | 12-21-2011 16:06 Comments (0)

Anyone know how to open a washing machine door from the inside?

←Rate | 12-29-2011 08:48 by Rob Comments (0)

Lazy rule #526272828000: I take short cuts that are longer than the long cuts just because I think they are shorter

←Rate | 12-31-2011 10:29 by Tonez Comments (0)

after you break down in a car you feel so violated, you don't even want the car no more.

←Rate | 01-09-2012 21:45 by L Comments (1)

Dogs are like Facebook; fun and interactive. Cats are like MySpace; boring, climb on the furniture and $hit in a box.

←Rate | 01-10-2012 19:54 by MTQ Comments (0)

Tebow? And are you in love with him? Cuz you sure talk about him alot...

←Rate | 01-11-2012 12:59 Comments (0)

I wonder if young people on honeymoons today have as much sex as we did when I was young. For the first week on our cruise, most people thought my wife and I were Siamese twins.