Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Brace yourself for pumpkin his and pumpkin that bull$hit
←Rate | 08-31-2018 15:15 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Before I was born, I was given a choice between a big di*k, or a good memory. I don't remember what one I chose.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 14:29 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I started my new Kris Kristofferson diet this morning. A beer for breakfast and another one for desert .
←Rate | 02-08-2017 20:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Donald, if Uncle Bill had sexually harassed Ivanka, would he still be a "good guy", or is it okay as long as you have lots of power over the victim.
←Rate | 04-05-2017 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To everyone in the northern hemisphere, I apologize for the odious stenches emanating from my rear end this evening.
←Rate | 04-05-2017 22:00 by Funky Nassau Comments (0)  


   messageicon ever look at somebodys feet and there toes look like Fritoes
←Rate | 04-17-2017 20:48 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alejandro Villanueva is a coward. He can stand up to the enemy on the battlefield, but he can't stand up to a bunch of whiny crybaby millionaires.
←Rate | 09-27-2017 07:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I paid for my wife to have a breast reduction. The doctor goes, "Ah, she wants a loppatittyoffamee."
←Rate | 10-05-2017 15:24 by Fabionaha Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1f y0u c4n r34d 7H15 7h3n c0n6r47ul4710n5! Y0u h4v3 D3pr35510n
←Rate | 12-19-2018 07:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the poorly educated. Laughter would be scarce without them.
←Rate | 04-19-2019 11:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 400 lb man, who demanded flight attendants to wipe his butt has died. Good riddance.
←Rate | 04-23-2019 12:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Made up Word of the Day: Dysfucktional.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 13:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I make it rain on them hoes.” - Clouds
←Rate | 10-28-2012 02:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two more victims have come forward in the BBC abuse scandal. They claim they were regularly fisted by elderly men on a weekly basis and then locked away after this abuse until the next week. Both Sooty and Sweep claim they where so traumatized it left the
←Rate | 10-29-2012 14:34 by Kader Comments (0)  


   messageicon Single women, you know that dress you're thinking of wearing tonight? The really tight, short one? Throw it out.
←Rate | 11-01-2012 14:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just listened to a One Direction song and now I'm a 16 year old girl called "Amy"
←Rate | 11-04-2012 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hi ho hi ho it's off to school I go! I don't learn much because the teacher is nuts ...hi ho hi ho
←Rate | 11-14-2012 07:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or does Dub step sound like transformers having sex?
←Rate | 11-22-2012 05:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If schools were supposed to prepare us for the adult world, we should've had a subject called "How to get away with murder".
←Rate | 12-02-2012 05:50 Comments (1)  


   messageicon if we get to my place and she's wearing a push up bra and spanx, I'm putting her s hit on the street...
←Rate | 12-09-2012 11:48 Comments (0)  




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