Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Public media: "A place where you discover that people you once respected" don't have character.

   Never trust people who talk to their pets in normal voices.

   I really like people who don't know how full of crap I really am.

   I need to meet new people to ignore.

   Finds it funny that people really take some of these prescription pills that two of the side effects are swelling of the tongue and death...

   I feel safer knowing the Democrats are trying to make a watch list for people on watch lists..

   Always wear sunglasses at the poker table so people can't see me crying.

   Meh, Meh, Meh, Meh, Meh, Meh, Meh, Meh, Meh, Meh... -People flipping the channels at 4 am in the morning

   People who swear a lot tend to be more honest, upfront, and loyal with their friends, partners and family. I find this fact offensive.

   I know 5 people who are clinically insane , I'm 2 of them

   Facebook's great for tedious daily updates from people who should have inched away from you in the natural continental drift of life by now.

   I don't really care to people's opinions when I can hit their IQ on a dart board.

   Some of my friends say I hang out with the wrong crowd. They say things like "Hey dude we are over here you don't even know those people"

   How many people with ADHD does it take to change...... ooh butterfly

   In hell people take ALL of your tweets seriously

   Like people who leave their Christmas decorations up all year I left my Halloween decorations up and saved a lot of work thanks to the spiders!

   Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to bend them in half until they break, and then shake the s*** out of them until their light turns on.

   almost 61 years ago 2 people had sex and now I have to go to work everyday

   If some of you people are giving up booze for January, but still want those lovely pubs to be there when you get back, some of us real heroes are just going to have to buckle down and do your drinking for you. Don’t thank me. It’s what I do.

   people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years