Baddie Funny Status Messages



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Page: 16 of 86

   messageicon This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
←Rate | 04-25-2014 14:19 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I'm roofing.
←Rate | 02-13-2013 13:14 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are a lot like kids, if you want to shut them up, put a boob in their mouth.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 15:22 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everytime a girl tells me she doesn't feel good I squeeze her boob and call her a liar.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 10:13 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no more horrible death than the one of a poor tree that ends up being a Twilight book.
←Rate | 12-14-2012 14:34 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I roasted marshmallows over your meltdown.
←Rate | 06-30-2014 14:20 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
←Rate | 11-08-2014 05:52 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently my girlfriend has no problem putting my d*ck in her mouth but she won't let me touch her if I don't wash my hands right after I pee coz that's disgusting.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 07:00 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting your girlfriend to agree to try an@l is NOT made any easier when you tell her how willing your last girlfriend was.
←Rate | 04-27-2012 11:30 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I separate women into two categories: 1. Women I would have sex with. 2. Dudes.
←Rate | 12-06-2013 06:15 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if a cow dies of old age after a long and happy life, vegetarians are allowed to eat it, right?
←Rate | 05-04-2014 06:39 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call them “cuss words.” I choose to call them “sentence enhancers.”
←Rate | 07-27-2012 14:22 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my wife is sleeping I open her handbag, take out my balls, pat them & whisper "I know guys I miss you too" then put them back quietly.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 14:50 by Baddie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just bought my " I survived black history month" T-shirt
←Rate | 03-01-2013 00:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
←Rate | 05-06-2014 13:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the reason old people sleep in separate bedrooms is so they don't have to wake up next to someone dead.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 09:32 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like the ability to call the car in front of me & tell the driver to pull her head out of her ass. Where are we on this technology?
←Rate | 10-06-2014 02:17 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 12:56 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 04:52 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I'm guessing that it's like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 14:01 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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