Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   You know when you are about to say something, but that little voice of reason prevents you from it? Explain this to me, people like you fascinate me.

   I hate waiting until I'm dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.

   Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to hold a referendum with the same people who came up with "Boaty McBoatface."

   People should be indicted for putting raisins and walnuts in coleslaw.

   Remember when people had to entertain themselves on the toilet with a rotary phone.

   We need to have a WORKemon GO Game ... Where people get out and walk around looking for a JOB.

   I have nothing in common with people who wash, dry, fold and put their laundry away the same day.

   I don't know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.

   Bad Politicians are elected by Good People who DON'T VOTE!

   People always slam elevator music and that's very hurtful to those of us who have spent years learning to play the elevator.

   people can cry and cry all they want about who won and who didn't but when you have a 50% voter turnout you have only yourself to blame.

   Life is full of fake people. Before you decide to judge them, make sure you're not one of them

   I love pizza because it doesn't judge and tell me I'm doing it wrong when I eat it drunk.

   People who publicly announce they're "taking a break" from social media, are merely disgruntled that they have only 10 friends and even those 10 never comment.

   Wouldn't it be nice if you could adjust the brightness level of people like you can on your TV?

   If people would just give ugly people a chance and date them too, catfishing wouldn't be a thing.

   Findings from meetings and conferences: "The only thing that often comes out of a meeting is the people who went in."

   Me: Sometimes I wonder if people don't like me Therapist: That's where I can help Me: Great Therapist: They don't

   So I was deleting ugly people on my FB account and I nearly deleted my damn self.

   I hate people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example.