Drunk people Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You know when you are about to say something, but that little voice of reason prevents you from it? Explain this to me, people like you fascinate me.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 14:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate waiting until I'm dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
←Rate | 07-27-2013 13:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ironically, the people you meet by accident are often the ones who become an important part of your life
←Rate | 03-01-2018 04:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people would just give ugly people a chance and date them too, catfishing wouldn't be a thing.
←Rate | 11-14-2018 11:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Findings from meetings and conferences: "The only thing that often comes out of a meeting is the people who went in."
←Rate | 04-11-2019 10:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: Sometimes I wonder if people don't like me Therapist: That's where I can help Me: Great Therapist: They don't
←Rate | 10-02-2019 06:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I was deleting ugly people on my FB account and I nearly deleted my damn self.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 10:21 Comments (4)  


   messageicon I hate people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example.
←Rate | 06-13-2018 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your house is dirty when people wipe their feet when they are leaving.
←Rate | 07-06-2018 04:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I think sharks eat people just so they can be on tv.
←Rate | 09-22-2018 21:51 by Scstarman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most people wake up feeling like a million bucks, me? I wake up feeling like insufficient funds.
←Rate | 10-07-2018 04:38 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to hold a referendum with the same people who came up with "Boaty McBoatface."
←Rate | 06-29-2016 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People should be indicted for putting raisins and walnuts in coleslaw.
←Rate | 07-07-2016 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when people had to entertain themselves on the toilet with a rotary phone.
←Rate | 07-09-2016 02:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need to have a WORKemon GO Game ... Where people get out and walk around looking for a JOB.
←Rate | 07-19-2016 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have nothing in common with people who wash, dry, fold and put their laundry away the same day.
←Rate | 08-03-2016 05:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
←Rate | 10-15-2016 05:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad Politicians are elected by Good People who DON'T VOTE!
←Rate | 11-02-2016 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People always slam elevator music and that's very hurtful to those of us who have spent years learning to play the elevator.
←Rate | 11-04-2016 05:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon people can cry and cry all they want about who won and who didn't but when you have a 50% voter turnout you have only yourself to blame.
←Rate | 11-10-2016 18:10 Comments (0)  




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