David Funny Status Messages
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From now on every time I see a "for lease" sign, I will put a "navidad" sign under it
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11-30-2011 23:31 by David
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At the end of each day, life should ask us, 'Do you want to save the changes?'
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04-08-2014 17:09 by david
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If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
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03-12-2010 18:22 by David
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I think I owe my right hand a Valentines Day card!
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02-14-2012 13:49 by David
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So many accidents with Hillary. I'm not even sure she still alive, maybe they're just dragging her body like in Weekend at Bernie's
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03-16-2018 14:28 by David
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The first joint I hit I smoked behind Grandpa's barn. It made me dizzy, and I coughed a lot. "Don't worry, that always happens with the first hit," said Grandpa. "Try another hit." And you know, he was right!
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09-22-2011 16:19 by David
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A true friend sees the first tear... catches the second... and stops the third
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08-05-2011 05:41 by david
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I truly don't understand the needs for ladies 70 and above to bath in their perfume, unless their trying to kill their husband.
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05-21-2011 22:19 by David
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If you watch Godzilla backwards, it's about a helpful lizard putting a city back together and leaving afterwards.
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05-09-2010 13:36 by David
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Hey Prince William, I'mma let you finish and all, but we had the most historic event OF ALL TIME.
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05-02-2011 17:31 by David
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"Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine."
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04-10-2014 15:08 by david
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If you are late to special ed is it proper for the teacher to say that you are tardy?
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09-19-2010 23:34 by David
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If you watch Rambo backwards, it's about a medic with a magical bullet vacuum.
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05-12-2010 17:39 by David
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Girls gone wild...Not the first time Bit@hes bankrupted a man..
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03-05-2013 10:20 by David
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Ladies if you want your man home more often in the next few months... Madden 11 is here... Oh and NFL SUNDAY TICKET ont be bad either!!!
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08-10-2010 15:22 by David
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You give that porn actress an award?, she sucks! Nevermind....
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01-08-2011 13:40 by David
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Subway is being sued for lying about length?!?!?....Not the first time length has been lied about!
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01-25-2013 17:06 by David
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" OMG ... I would kill for another Nobel Peace Prize. " Barack Obama
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09-06-2013 13:47 by David
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According to Nostradamus Prophecies, Politicians can resist a Nuclear Winter, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, a direct Meteor Impact, the Jehovah's Witnesses & Mormons. But not a Sequester!
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03-05-2013 13:56 by David
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whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously has never sold weed
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01-31-2012 01:41 by david
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