Gripenfelter Funny Status Messages
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Page: 7 of 7
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There's a contaminated water scare in my town and I haven't used my bidet in two days because I don't want E. coli in my bum.
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If I was a cr4ck addict, I might drive to another state to drop off a laptop and then forget about it.
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I should be ashamed of my behaviour. Just to be clear, I should be, but I'm not.
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I’ve decided to raise my kids gender neutral. Not because I’m embracing any LGBTLMNOP agenda but more because I like buying stuff on sale.
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Which vaccine is the one with extra microchips in it? Cuz I wanna be able to control my appliances with my mind.
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My dad said I would always go down in history. He was right. I also fingered a girl in geography.
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It's my birthday! I'm finally at that age where I can switch from health food to preservatives.
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Ah yes, it's that wonderful time of year between Christmas and New Years that I like to call "The Festive Perineum".
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New Lockdown laws...Screw child labour laws. Going to gather up the neighbourhood kids and build an ARK....actually scratch that, lumber pricing is ridiculous...going to build a Death Star.
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