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Will he stay or will he go? Seems like President Mubarak must have the same publicist as Carmelo Anthony...
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02-10-2011 14:08
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Don't give me this, "Just because I accepted your friend request, it doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you" stuff. If I had wanted to sleep with you, it would've happened already.
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04-02-2017 11:50 by
Mick
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Oh good YouPorn put up all their Easter themed porn.
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04-03-2017 00:11 by
Zinc
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I downloaded an APP to do my taxes. I hope it hurries.....It's running out of time........
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04-16-2017 17:17
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So, someone stole my credit card number last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That sums up my day....you?
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05-05-2017 01:22
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rare sighting of me by a neighbor
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05-22-2017 03:03
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it me, or is *** an annoying prick for all his incomplete jokes? Go away *** you bother me!
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08-11-2017 17:39
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I have a nutache
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08-17-2017 16:35
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Are we removing all the statues of generals who lost in war...Cuz I got General insurance and I want that removed too
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08-19-2017 16:58
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Lactose intolerance is said to be the primary cause of a cheesy combustible.
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09-14-2017 19:28 by
MichaeltheItalian
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Yes I took a knee before the game on Sunday. It took three people and a promise of a chocolate chip cookie to get me back on my feet again.
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09-25-2017 15:57 by
LarryBaker
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Didn't know Dolphins do coke. Do they turn their heads upside down?
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10-09-2017 21:06
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When a wife's deadbeat husband died. She had him cremated and his ashes placed in a 24 hour, hour-glass. He's now working 24/7 for eternity.
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10-12-2017 02:28 by
Jake
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My wife after pulling weeds… I want a goat
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07-27-2020 08:34
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I’m at the “my 7 yr old gave himself a hickey on his arm” part of the parenting journey. Hashtag blessed.
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07-27-2020 08:36
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Geez I shouldn't have clicked on that flying drone ad as now my news feed is filled with a million different kinds of drones for sale :/
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07-27-2020 17:21
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I'm so old I just sit around and look at Facebook all day.... like younger people do nowadays.
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09-12-2020 22:25 by
moon
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My doctor says I need to cut back on my gluten. Over my bread body!
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09-16-2020 00:51 by
moon
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I have unrealistic expectations of my anti aging cream
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01-06-2021 08:38
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Wonder how many wife's the guy who giving marriage tips has gone through?
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02-07-2021 20:37
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