fadolo Funny Status Messages

   I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.

   Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck

   If judging others is a sin, Santa must be going to hell.

   There is no "i" in "team." But there's an "i" in "Tim," and my friend Carlos pronounces it "team" so....there

   I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker's crotch. If she flinches, I know it's a dude.

   got a free iPad and iPhone today. It's like this gun is magic.

   Who else thinks their ringtone is the best, but when you're in public and it rings, it's the most embarrassing moment of your life?

   Fact: rihanna's face is 74% forehead

   White parents say, "Good morning, time for school" ...Black parents say, Getcha azz up, don't miss that bus

   I react to "Someone has tagged a photo of you..." in the same way I react to a doctor saying, "Your test results came back..."

   Girl's idea of Valentine's Day. (っ˘з(˘.˘ )♥ Guy's idea of Valentine's Day ( • )( •ԅ(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

   Jesus had a snuggie first

   Some Where In The Ghetto there's a girl using her EBT card like it's a VISA. "What you mean it declined, try that shhit again".

   Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

   When the apocalypse comes soy sauce & ketchup packets WILL be our currency. Otherwise I've been collecting these for nothing

   My goal on Saturday is to spend the maximum amount of time being horizontal as possible.

   You had me at let's get divorced.

   How are we suppose to have flying cars if we can't even get AM radio without static?

   Those awkward car rides with people you barely know.

   Before you try to change others, remember how hard it is to change yourself.