jitney Funny Status Messages
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Great Thanks to these doushbags, now I gotta get a background check for a pressure cooker at Sears......
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04-19-2013 12:47 by jitney
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Please do not start naming your future newborn "blue Ivy", yellow mustard, dark orchid, pastel white, purple rain, orange caramel or anything that don't make sense; we already hav ppl named after cars(Mercedes, Infinite, Camry, Alexis).
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01-10-2012 14:53 by jitney
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In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King I will be marching 12 miles to work today in the middle of the street....
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01-15-2012 14:11 by jitney
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I've Realized Something Today.. No Matter How Hard You Try To Plan Your Life.. Life Has A Plan For You All On Its Own..
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02-14-2012 02:46 by jitney
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DonaldTrump is doing one mean Alec Baldwin impression tonight.
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10-19-2016 21:42 by Jitney
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Its that time of the year where the work office decides to do secret santa again and this time its under $25....I'm getting my co-worker a pack tooth brush with about $30 worth of tooth paste!
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11-25-2013 18:47 by jitney
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Please stop inviting me to play CANDY CRUSH I'm type 2 Diabetic & I'm watching my sugar!!!
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06-05-2013 23:50 by Jitney
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Dearly beloved God, I wanna take a minute, not to ask for anything from you. But simply to say thank you, for all I have.
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08-19-2017 17:39 by jitney
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would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
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01-12-2012 14:16 by jitney
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If this aint the most ghetto-est NFL Superbowl ever.....
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02-03-2013 21:00 by jitney
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You ever look at someone and daydream about them in the most erotic way....yeah that was me today dreaming about my female co-worker shutting the eff up and fixing me a sandwich to eat......
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11-19-2013 19:08 by Jitney
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I hate it when the people who owe me money post about how much they got back from the IRS..............
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01-12-2012 13:12 by jitney
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I hate when people asks me: What happened to the sweet old you? Well B**chhhes like you killed it!!
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06-14-2013 20:46 by Jitney
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Well, If this was 1999, would you have ever thought 13 years from now you could sit on the toilet while updating your facebook status about the End of the world again??? I wonder what will be doing 13yrs in the future from now.......
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12-21-2012 15:56 by jitney
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If facebook gets shutdown will Tom send me my password from Myspace back?
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01-20-2012 11:16 by jitney
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I don't have time to babysit ppl's feelings. Speak up. How I'm suppose to know what's wrong with you?
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06-19-2012 15:21 by jitney
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I hear a bunch of weird animals, beeps, and clicking. Wish me luck people, I'm going into walmart......
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06-23-2013 02:36 by Jitney
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If I win the Power Ball, I will buy two lbs of cheese from Whole Food.
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01-11-2016 19:52 by Jitney
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When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call..."America's most wanted" or Pedofiliers/Stalkers
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06-23-2014 17:50 by Jitney
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if you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don't invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
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09-30-2013 11:45 by Jitney
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